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 Alice's Teacup Madness
Excuse me- I've just had tea with the queen!
I didn't really.
I am speaking of a new RTS game from Playfirst called "Alice's Teacup Madness."

Have you heard Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole again.That's right, Alice runs a Mad Tea House these days? Simply put, this is an Alice in Wonderland version of "Diner Dash".

There are the usual restaurants (5 in all) plus 3 run-of-the-mill, boring mini games such as catching falling fruit and hidden object searches. The levels are more of the same ol' "serve-as-many-customers-as-quickly-as-possible" formula without adding any new twists. Wait! I take that back; there is a walrus at the entrance of your tea house. I'll get back to him in a minute.

The characters in this game are all straight from the beloved book by Lewis Carroll and I must admit they are all ridiculously cute! There's the white rabbit, of course, and the Mad Hatter, and the queen, and my favorite, the Cheshire Cat who isn't mad´┐Ż but he sure is cranky.

The new twist on the storyline goes something like this, Alice fell down that rabbit hole again, but this time the only way out is to make money in order to cross the field of flowers. So Alice teams up with the white rabbit to open up a tea house in order to make some dough or pastries... whatever.

You seat customers, take their orders, deliver their goodies, and collect the money. You can earn more money by seating customers on chairs whose color matches the customer's clothes. Same gameplay but "Alice's Tea Cup Madness" doesn't the challenge and the fast pace of other time management games.

Oh and get this- Alice can't carry more than 1 item at once. I know right?! What's up with that?
No matter, the gameplay is so laid back and lackadaisical you never really need that ability anyway. Maybe Playfirst is trying to reach out to a younger audience here.

Now about this walrus-this walrus is quite an interesting new addition,he is responsible for throwing out customers who are becoming too impatient, a "bouncer walrus" if you will.
But due to the slow pace and ease of the game and the ability to calm down customers with a music box you rarely, if ever need his services. I felt bad for the big guy just standing there actually until I found out he was a union worker!

SideNote:The Walrus does come with a price however it costs you $200 to kick someone out but you might lose $500 if they leave on their own- it's a risk you might want to consider.
Woo-hoo finally a somewhat "strategy" element to this hum-drum snoozefest!

No matter how I felt about the game overall however,I will say that the graphics are beautiful. Bright pinks, blues, and purple. It's what kept me playing the game actually.
I can't say it enough "Allice's Teacup Madness" was too easy...painfully easy. There was no excitement. The story was dreadfully dull. Dreadfully. They could've done so much more with the "Alice in Wonderland" storyline.
What they did instead is just embarrassing. Sure they earned some brownie points for the graphics and cute characters but the whole game lacked personality. There were only 2 items on the menu. Tea, and pastries. That's it. BORING. I kept waiting for some twist at the end of each level.But all you get are boring minigames. Some exciting upgrades maybe. Nope. None.

In the end, I have to say watch your step for rabbit holes because you don't want to take a visit to this Wonderland.


Get Alice's Teacup Madness Here


Graphics A
Sound C-
Pickup & Play C-
Overall Fun C-

Posted by oxyjen on Feb 12, 2010
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